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5 Wedding Day Fears and How to Get Over Them

You know the drill. Your wedding day has finally arrived, and everything looks perfect. It’s time to go down the aisle, the doors open, and… no one has shown up because you put the wrong date on the invitation! How could this happen? The day is completely ruined. You are in tears. Your fiancé is furious. Your parents are hysterical. Then you wake up in a cold sweat and realize… it was just a dream; your wedding is still months away.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry. You are not alone. Not only are wedding day worries commonplace, but some of your biggest fears are also shared by many brides and grooms out there. Here are 5 commonly held wedding day fears and tips on how to conquer them before the big day.

1. Tripping While Walking Down the Aisle

It’s your big moment. The wedding party has gone down the aisle, the music changes, the door opens, and you and your dad head down the aisle. Everyone is staring at you…and you trip. This has been a common fear for as long as I can remember. After all, you are in a gown that you’ve never worn before and heels, and you are already nervous. Jennifer Lawrence tripping up the stairs at the Oscars didn’t do much to calm any brides’ nerves either.

What You Can Do

Not to fear. This is actually much less common than you think, but there are still precautions you can take to avoid this situation. First, if you have an aisle runner, be sure it’s a non-slip runner. Have your planner or a friend tape the top and bottom ends of the runner to keep it taut so you won’t catch a wrinkle or a gather. Next, while the temptation to go sky-high in your heels may be strong, avoid a heel height you don’t walk in regularly.

Practice walking in your bridal shoes and be sure to scrape your soles to get a bit of traction. Finally, if you do for some reason stumble even slightly, remember the original guy you loved—Dad—has his arm around yours and will keep you stable.

2. No One Shows Up

There is nothing quite like the anxiety of waiting out those RSVPs. It always feels like the RSVP date comes and goes with still a huge number of outstanding responses.

How to Handle It

Give it a week and then start emailing/calling the non-responsive guests. If you feel weird doing that, ask your groom or your mom to help out with the awkward requests. Don’t take emails for an answer though—sending back a written commitment often feels much more real than just sending a text or an email saying “I’ll be there.” If you get answers to your inquiries saying “Oh yes, I’m coming,” just say “Great, if you don’t mind sending back the RSVP card, that would be great.” After all, you stamped it! Once you get critical mass, the fears of people not showing up should be greatly reduced.

3. You are Too Anxious to “Enjoy the Day”

You’ve been worrying about everything being perfect for months, if not more than a year. It’s not uncommon to fear that you won’t be able to put all that worry away on the day itself.

Tips to Relax

If this is a source of anxiety for you, invest in hiring a “Day-of” Coordinator. Generally, a Day-of planner gets involved a month before the big day to double-check all of your plans, coordinate the day’s schedule with all of your vendors, and manage the flow of events on the day itself. Most importantly, they are there to resolve any problems that might arise so that you don’t have to deal with them. Lots of wedding planners offer this service, and some companies specialize specifically in “Day-of” Coordination.

4. The Weather

Yes, they say that rain is good luck on your wedding day, but luck aside, no bride wants it drizzling on her dress—especially if you have an outdoor ceremony or tented reception in mind.

Weather-Proofing Your Day

What’s the solution? Have a rain plan—and ideally one that you feel nearly as good about as your outdoor plan. Invest in a really gorgeous umbrella. Spend some money on flooring your tent so the ground doesn’t get too wet if it does rain. In general, turn Murphy’s Law on its ear by over-preparing for bad weather. Rather than dread the possibility, accept what might happen if it does rain and fall in love with it. Since weather is the one thing you can’t control, you should attempt to not let it make you crazy.

5. That Something “Will Go Wrong”

After all that planning and spending, it’s easy to focus on all the things that could go wrong.

Embrace Imperfection

Rather than stay up at night worrying that something might go wrong, I have a simple solution: accept that something will go wrong. At least one thing will not go exactly, perfectly according to plan. The reason? It’s real life, and events aren’t like pictures or movies where they can be photoshopped and edited into perfection. They are “happenings,” and sometimes the happenings are what make them memorable. Does this mean it will be something major? No. Chances are slim that the cake will fall or that something will catch on fire. More likely, someone might miss a cue or your dad burps during his toast or something else benign that will create a magical moment, a good laugh, and an everlasting memory. Embrace the imperfections of the day!

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